Parents, ward off 'childhood affluenza' |
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"The Simple Life" chronicled the adventures of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, daughter of famed singer Lionel Richie, when they took on low-paying jobs while deprived of their everyday luxuries. MTV's "My Super Sweet 16" documents rich children marking their 16th birthdays with flamboyant celebrations.
De Graaf says poor children in places he's visited, such as a Guatemalan refugee camp and a landless peasant settlement in Brazil, appeared cheerful and resourceful despite not having any possessions, while their affluent counterparts in the United States are submerged in goods but feel deprived.
Gallo believes it's the children's exposure not only to commercials but also to peer pressure that offset parental modeling. Many parents are not making it clear to kids that they don't need to have everything that's advertised.
Wealthy parents have a challenge, says Linn, because there's less limit to what they can buy while lower and middle class families have more realistic limits.
In some instances, parents use gifts as a substitute for something that's priceless: time. Rivers, for example, finds that most of his clients work long hours and some will shower their kids with gifts as opposed to being physically present.
Treatment and prevention
Although it seems like the symptoms are incurable, childhood affluenza can be remedied. Begin by attacking the bug with a dose of communication and corrective actions to stop your child and yourself from overindulging. Don't let your children get away with nagging. Let them figure out for themselves what they can do to relieve boredom. Other steps to take are to put strict limits on television viewing and designating frequent, set times to have meaningful one-on-one time with your child.
Explain that you want to make some positive changes in the way the family is living. Don't just discuss what items you plan to take from them. Phrases, such as "more balance in life," "a simpler life," "fewer things but cool things," can be used in the discussion, says Bill Doherty, Ph.D., a professor and director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Program at the University of Minnesota.
Next, start protecting your children with sound financial advice.
"If we don't have conversations about balancing a checkbook, choosing a credit card, how to save some of our paycheck -- all those basic financial management conversations with our kids, then we are allowing 'My Super Sweet 16' and 'Platinum Weddings' to teach our kids about finances," says Clark.
De Graaf considers television the hot zone for affluenza and says children should also be taught media literacy so they are not manipulated. Two sites he recommends are www.consumerjungle.org and www.pbskids.org/dontbuyit. He also advises parents to work on reducing advertising at their children's schools.
For the more wealthy families, banks and business consultants offer counseling services that advocate honesty and philanthropy to children.
The consultants also suggest getting children involved with the family's charitable foundation and/or other organizations that help those in need. Klein says philanthropy can not only show the family's values and legacy, but also develop financial and life skills.
For older children in wealthy backgrounds, set up family meetings. These meetings promote one-on-one time and discussions about the families' financial business and philanthropic decisions. They can also include a financial adviser to help support financial education, as well as some fun events such as a family vacation.
Parents can set the standard by demonstrating moderation when acquiring items and promoting charitable uses of money.
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